One Day in the Electronics Class

Something I wrote a long long time back.. in 2nd year .. :)

                           One Day in the Electronics Class

[A lecture hall… students are engaged in various activities… some are sleeping, some are chatting, some eating, etc…

A young, active-looking professor hurriedly walks in…]

Prof:    (Looks around and is disappointed by the general state of the students…. Starts                       pacing around the room….)

(One group of students are chatting…)

Prof:    YOU! Reduce your noise levels…

(One boy is sleeping….)

Prof:    YOU! Please wake him up….

(One boy is eating… seeing the prof coming, he quickly disposes his plate below the seat)

Prof:    What was that??? This is a class, not a semiconductor sample that you are adding       impurities!! Go outside and throw it in the Common Drain.

(Some people are copying assignments)

Prof:    YOU! Stop this communication system immediately. And one of you act as the                Common Collector and submit everybody’s assignment.

(Most fall silent… faint noise of 2 girls giggling)

Prof:    YOU! Bypass your small signals to AC ground… we have serious work to do…

(Prof goes to the dais and adjusts his microphone…)

Prof:    Students, today we shall….

(Common Collector submits the assignments… Prof takes a look)

Prof:    ALL the answers are wrong… Surprisingly everybody got the same wrong answer…          who is the Common Source??

(Students grumble at a particular guy… Prof notices)

Prof:    Stand up… you… yes YOU…

(Common Source stands up)

Prof:    So… you are a member of the Assignments and Tutorials Core Team??

CS:       (Puzzled and scared…) No, sir …. I mean…

Prof:    You have made the commonest mistake… and furthermore like an Ideal Current                        Mirror you have inducted the same mistake in everybody’s solution…

CS:       (Ashamed…) I am sorry Sir … could we try the problem once again…?

Prof:    It’s no good… instead study well the whole lot of you… otherwise your grades will        come in PDF format…

CS:       (Halufied…) Umm… our grades shall be mailed to us Sir?

Prof:    NO IDIOT, you will get P or D or F!! Sit down!!!

(Resumes Lecture)

Prof:    Today we shall be discussing the MOSFET circuit analysis. This is a very important        topic…

(2 students enter)

Prof:    Hey! You don’t ask for permission?

(Puzzled, students stop midway and look at the prof)

Prof:    What is the technical explanation for this delay?

Student 1:      Sir my cycle tyre punctured…

Student 2:      Sir I come by his cycle…

Prof:    SO… you 2 work in series, eh? If one component fails then your whole system                 crashes? Think fault-tolerant guys… (to Student 2) get a new cycle… go sit down.

            As I was saying, in these circuit analysis problems we shall assume all MOS’s to be    in saturation. Of course this must be verified at a later….

(One student is desperately trying to borrow a pen)

Prof:    YOU! What are you doing??

Student:         Sir I forgot to bring a pen…

Prof:    And where do you intend to write… I don’t see a notebook…

Student:         Sir I shall borrow a few pages…

Prof:    And have you submitted the assignment?

Student:         Sir I borrowed it from the Common Source (eyeing the guy)

Prof:    Brilliant! Now borrow yourself from your seat and without any intermediate                   collisions transport yourself out of the lecture hall… NOW! OUT!

Prof:    (calling after the guy) And on your way out close the Common Gate.

Prof:    Yes… amplify your attention please… as I was saying… the first step shall be a DC analysis of Q-pt values…

(One boy and one girl peep into the class)

-       “Sir may we come in?”

Prof:    New electron-hole pair!! You are too late… go back and recombine.

            Students, due to these stupid delay blocks riddled into our class, today I shall take a 2 hour lecture…

(Students grumble…)

Prof:    Why?

Student:         Will there be a break?

Prof:    No it is the prof who needs the break…

Students:       PLEASE SIR!!!!!!!

Prof:    Ok… but the mean free time shall be negligibly small… I intend to finish this chapter today…. And oh yes, you have a class test tomorrow…

Students:       OH NO!!!!!!

Prof:    Now what? Even this is exceeding your Upper Cut-off??

Students:       We need some time to study Sir…

Prof:    Electronic systems are supposed to give instantaneous output… I am sorry it can’t be   helped.

Now enough… fine tune your receivers… I shall radiate information and you better receive it fast…

(Students grumble and chatter… a general commotion settles in, when one of the staff comes in, paper in hand)

Prof:    SHUT UP! There is an important announcement… the HOD demands everybody               whose cycle has been left in the NO-PARKING zone to be subjected to Chain Therapy.

Students:       (Puzzled…) Chain Therapy???

Prof:    Yes… their cycles will be detained by department-sponsored chains and locks…

(Few students look around in dire urgency…)

Prof:    This had to happen…. Your disobedience has exceeded the HOD’s signal handling                   capacity… he has run into saturation trying to tell you… but you chose to remain in   cut-off mode… now with punishment, maybe you will re-stabilise your operating                       points. I am off to implement the strategy…

Students:       So the class is off?? YO!!!!

Prof:    There is nothing to celebrate… we shall have the class test today instead…

(Prof snaps his fingers… 2 TA’s walk in… hand out question papers…

Prof walks out …. Students collapse back with a big OH NO!!!!!!)

                                                                                                                        THE END

So long, and thanks for all the fish

So the JEE is in mortal danger. At this point when each of students, faculty and management are busy voicing their opinions, I was wondering whether we are even asking the right questions.

The stakeholders in this game are (a) the students (b) IITs (c) society. It is queer to note that ministry and management are not first level stakeholders by any measure. They are supposed to 'represent' the society in this equation, but given that they seemed to have stopped listening and are coming up with brilliant ideas all on their own, lets cast them aside.

So what do each of the stakeholders really need? Lets start backwards.

Society needs 'qualified engineers, scientists and leaders' to serve the nation. How does the process of changing the JEE format answer that need? Once you think about this, you'll realize that the connection is not at all obvious. The ministry supposes that by changing the format of the exam they will be able to induct students 'with a genuine love for engineering' into the elite institutions, which will end up serving the aforesaid purpose since they wont be deviated towards alternative career distractions (read 'white collar') which has been the growing trend. 

Both these assumptions are highly dubious and debatable. Firstly, at a +2 level, rarely anybody knows that they are 'genuinely interested in engineering' - I never did, and neither did hordes of my friends. At best, students know that they love basic sciences. Society-defined status quo and peer pressure, coupled with the utter lack of world class institutions for undergraduate basic science education (with due respect to the few St Xavier's, Presidencies and Annas scattered in a discombobulated manner) dictates that such students take up engineering or medicine as a career. I would like to know what process can filter out students who were 'born to be engineers' with a high level of confidence, especially in India where high school education is deeply theoretical and only a small fraction of students engage in science fairs, modeling projects and the like (note - no ministry ever thought of looking into that as a background).

As for the point of lateral attrition, it is worthy of note that the students 'genuinely interested in engineering', especially from IITs, end up pursuing graduate studies in foreign shores (read USA) and more often than not settle there. Those who do stay back suffer from a lack of challenging and rewarding 'core engineering jobs' within the country. No wonder that large numbers of them switch tracks to finance or management in order to earn well and live respectably while staying within India. The ministry does nothing to promote jobs and RnD, and pushes off-the-shelf resolutions without even an attempt at getting the appropriate ground work started.

Now what do the IITs (aka, hopefully, faculty) need? Having been through the system, the IITs actually need very little by way of undergraduates. The current process inducts students who have been through such a rigorous process of training that they end up being successful almost regardless of anything else. From personal experience, I know that the students who topped the JEE will continue to do the same regardless of the format. These students are not dumb you know. You change the format and they will adapt within days. Especially when the stakes are as high as being admitted into the only chain of undergraduate colleges in India known on a first-name basis throughout the world.

What IITs really need today is a drastic increase in the focus on research. While IITs have made a formidable reputation in undergraduate education, one has to squint to evince their presence in post-graduate studies. It is of immense import that the M.Tech and PhD students graduating out of IITs actually end up working in the IT industry and faculty positions across the nation. If the ministry were to do anything about increasing the output of quality engineers into the Indian workforce, this should be the stream they should attack first. Better resources, collaborations, industry liason, meaningful and productive research translating into stories of success and impact. To me, the fact that this crucial hinge has been all but overlooked is deeply disturbing. 

Finally the students. Students are much smarter than you think. They easily realize that the door to the IITs is synonymous to financial stability, social respect and professional success in India as well as the world. While the prudes may groan at students using the 'IIT stamp' to get places, I do not see how they are to blame given that the IITs are among the only universally recognized colleges from India across the world, and an almost lack of RnD in India. So while it might sound very sympathetic to 'reduce the stress of examinations', one cannot forget what is at stake is worth a whole lifetime. For that, students are NOT going to relax even if the entrance is made easy, but will only fight harder to shine above the rest of the populace. If the ministry thinks including school scores will make a difference, students will only reorient themselves to ace both (personally, board exams were a joke after the preparation we went through for JEE). Throw what you will, the best of the crop will adapt themselves to find their way. The ministry is making the crucial mistake again of expecting mediocrity out of a chain of institutions clearly set aside for elitism, and for all their efforts, students will only sing back 'so long, and thanks for all the fish'. 

I now pronounce you husband and husband

So the latest news is in. Obama loves you in pairs. Irrespective of how you pair up. In a recent highly debated political issue, Obama came out stating his support for gay marriage. Purportedly in his 2008 campaign he had taken the opposite stand. Other evidence suggests that even before that he has voiced his support in a signed legislature, but later denied.

Question - why is this at all a political issue? I mean, as far as I am concerned, this is a no-brainer. I am not homosexual, but I have totally nothing against them. If there are people who feel affection and love for others of the same sex and would rather spend their lives with them - sure, let them. Why are we so bothered?

Well if you think again, it is not difficult to see why it IS an issue. For one, as a political personality, you, strictly speaking, do not have the right to voice your personal opinions. You are a representative of the people, and have to say what they want you to say. After all, that is only democratic. So over the years, campaigners, including Obama possibly in 2008, voiced his opinion against homosexual marriage. The people, the society wanted it, and so he sided with it. "Its nothing personal, its only business" - to quote Michael Corleone.

So what is the key issue? Is it the love of office which prevents leaders from taking a strong stand towards what rationally seems to be right? Are people sacrificing what they know is right (hopefully) just to win public support, and in that case does it count as hypocrisy? Well, yes and no. Sure, its not the best reflection on your personal conscience. But then again, as a representative, you have to say what the people want you to say, that is the hallmark of a statesman - at the cost of possibly silencing his own opinion. 

Then, it works out, the key to the problem works down to the people themselves. Who oppose homosexual marriage? Possibly the Catholic, the religious, the conservative. Ok. I wonder why though. What is a good reason for them to protest against it? Stop the "sin against God" nonsense please and give me a good scientific reason. At least tell me it is "naturally unnatural" since it is not targeted towards procreation, or tell me that its a social thing where you feel uncomfortable living in the vicinity of two girls who you know kiss more than each other's lips. 

Now is the big question. So what? Nobody comes and checks on what you do behind closed doors in your bedroom. Whether you are vanilla or indulge in the exotic kinks now so popularized on the internet that you would think its more the norm than the exception. If you have the right to have a private personal life, what problem do you have with others? Why do you want to dictate what they are allowed to or not allowed to do in their nuptial bonds?

Society as a whole is in the need of growing up. This applies not only to "third world" and "developing" countries, but equally so in the USAs and Australias of the world. People, despite their apparent education and advanced philosophy, are yet to embrace the fundamental concepts of emotional, social and sexual liberation. For now, the issue hangs in the balance of what you think is right, and what IS right.