One Day in the Electronics Class

Something I wrote a long long time back.. in 2nd year .. :)

                           One Day in the Electronics Class

[A lecture hall… students are engaged in various activities… some are sleeping, some are chatting, some eating, etc…

A young, active-looking professor hurriedly walks in…]

Prof:    (Looks around and is disappointed by the general state of the students…. Starts                       pacing around the room….)

(One group of students are chatting…)

Prof:    YOU! Reduce your noise levels…

(One boy is sleeping….)

Prof:    YOU! Please wake him up….

(One boy is eating… seeing the prof coming, he quickly disposes his plate below the seat)

Prof:    What was that??? This is a class, not a semiconductor sample that you are adding       impurities!! Go outside and throw it in the Common Drain.

(Some people are copying assignments)

Prof:    YOU! Stop this communication system immediately. And one of you act as the                Common Collector and submit everybody’s assignment.

(Most fall silent… faint noise of 2 girls giggling)

Prof:    YOU! Bypass your small signals to AC ground… we have serious work to do…

(Prof goes to the dais and adjusts his microphone…)

Prof:    Students, today we shall….

(Common Collector submits the assignments… Prof takes a look)

Prof:    ALL the answers are wrong… Surprisingly everybody got the same wrong answer…          who is the Common Source??

(Students grumble at a particular guy… Prof notices)

Prof:    Stand up… you… yes YOU…

(Common Source stands up)

Prof:    So… you are a member of the Assignments and Tutorials Core Team??

CS:       (Puzzled and scared…) No, sir …. I mean…

Prof:    You have made the commonest mistake… and furthermore like an Ideal Current                        Mirror you have inducted the same mistake in everybody’s solution…

CS:       (Ashamed…) I am sorry Sir … could we try the problem once again…?

Prof:    It’s no good… instead study well the whole lot of you… otherwise your grades will        come in PDF format…

CS:       (Halufied…) Umm… our grades shall be mailed to us Sir?

Prof:    NO IDIOT, you will get P or D or F!! Sit down!!!

(Resumes Lecture)

Prof:    Today we shall be discussing the MOSFET circuit analysis. This is a very important        topic…

(2 students enter)

Prof:    Hey! You don’t ask for permission?

(Puzzled, students stop midway and look at the prof)

Prof:    What is the technical explanation for this delay?

Student 1:      Sir my cycle tyre punctured…

Student 2:      Sir I come by his cycle…

Prof:    SO… you 2 work in series, eh? If one component fails then your whole system                 crashes? Think fault-tolerant guys… (to Student 2) get a new cycle… go sit down.

            As I was saying, in these circuit analysis problems we shall assume all MOS’s to be    in saturation. Of course this must be verified at a later….

(One student is desperately trying to borrow a pen)

Prof:    YOU! What are you doing??

Student:         Sir I forgot to bring a pen…

Prof:    And where do you intend to write… I don’t see a notebook…

Student:         Sir I shall borrow a few pages…

Prof:    And have you submitted the assignment?

Student:         Sir I borrowed it from the Common Source (eyeing the guy)

Prof:    Brilliant! Now borrow yourself from your seat and without any intermediate                   collisions transport yourself out of the lecture hall… NOW! OUT!

Prof:    (calling after the guy) And on your way out close the Common Gate.

Prof:    Yes… amplify your attention please… as I was saying… the first step shall be a DC analysis of Q-pt values…

(One boy and one girl peep into the class)

-       “Sir may we come in?”

Prof:    New electron-hole pair!! You are too late… go back and recombine.

            Students, due to these stupid delay blocks riddled into our class, today I shall take a 2 hour lecture…

(Students grumble…)

Prof:    Why?

Student:         Will there be a break?

Prof:    No it is the prof who needs the break…

Students:       PLEASE SIR!!!!!!!

Prof:    Ok… but the mean free time shall be negligibly small… I intend to finish this chapter today…. And oh yes, you have a class test tomorrow…

Students:       OH NO!!!!!!

Prof:    Now what? Even this is exceeding your Upper Cut-off??

Students:       We need some time to study Sir…

Prof:    Electronic systems are supposed to give instantaneous output… I am sorry it can’t be   helped.

Now enough… fine tune your receivers… I shall radiate information and you better receive it fast…

(Students grumble and chatter… a general commotion settles in, when one of the staff comes in, paper in hand)

Prof:    SHUT UP! There is an important announcement… the HOD demands everybody               whose cycle has been left in the NO-PARKING zone to be subjected to Chain Therapy.

Students:       (Puzzled…) Chain Therapy???

Prof:    Yes… their cycles will be detained by department-sponsored chains and locks…

(Few students look around in dire urgency…)

Prof:    This had to happen…. Your disobedience has exceeded the HOD’s signal handling                   capacity… he has run into saturation trying to tell you… but you chose to remain in   cut-off mode… now with punishment, maybe you will re-stabilise your operating                       points. I am off to implement the strategy…

Students:       So the class is off?? YO!!!!

Prof:    There is nothing to celebrate… we shall have the class test today instead…

(Prof snaps his fingers… 2 TA’s walk in… hand out question papers…

Prof walks out …. Students collapse back with a big OH NO!!!!!!)

                                                                                                                        THE END