1. Loneliness is not about being alone... it is about being surrounded by people who do not care about you...
2. In God we trust, all others must pay cash !!!
3. Why do ppl deliver msgs they themselves cant make head or tail of?
4. It is your attitude and not your aptitute that decides your altitude.
5. God gives and forgives... we get and forget...
6. If 2 wrongs dont make a right, try a third
7. Law of entropy - everything in nature tends towards randomness. Thats why my room looks like this
8. There are 10 types of people, those who know binary and those who dont
9. To bug is human, to debug is divine
10. Do you think a dolphin has a porpoise in life?
11. Dr. Kalam's dream has come true - "India will be a superpower in 20-20" (cricket)
12. The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere is that they did not try to contact us
13. Where there is a will, there are five hundred relatives
14. A computer once beat me at chess, but soon realized that it is no match at kickboxing!!
15. I swear to drunk I am not God...
16. We are all born Cold, Wet and Hungry... then things get worse
17. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired...
18. Maine der raat tak neend ka intezaar kiya; fir bhi nahi aayi to main so gaya...
19. Said Hamlet to Ophelia: I shall draw a sketch of thee... What pencil should I use? 2B or not 2B??
20. I love to walk in the rain.. because then nobody realizes that I am crying...
21. My mother-in-law started walking 5 miles a day when she was 35... she is 45 now and we dont know where she is...
22. When I was born I was so surprised that I did not talk for a year..
23. If at first attempt you do not succeed, skydiving is (was) not for you..
24. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening, carcinogenic or married to someone else
25. A girl called me today and said "C'mon over.. there's nobody home". I went. She was right. There was nobody home.
26. Who says there is no shortcut to success? I have one on my desktop.
27. Keyboard not Found. Press F1 to resume.
28. Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.. God knows what they did up there, for they came back with a daughter!!
29. Cats at rest tend to remain at rest, while cats in motion tend to cross the highway just as you are about to pass...
30. Love is the irresistable desire to be desired irresistably!
31. If everything is coming your way, you must be in the wrong lane
32. Light travels faster than sound. That is why people appear to be bright until you hear them speak
33. My brain is a masterpiece. In the left half nothing is right and in the right half nothing is left.
34. Death smiles at everyone. The best we can do is to smile back
35. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway...
36. Syllabus should be like a mini-skirt.. taaki bacchon ka interest bhi bana rahe aur zaroori cheezein cover bhi ho jaye!!
37. Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day, saying..... "I will try again tomorrow."
38. When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world shall know peace
39. When I was little I prayed each night for a bicycle. Then I realized that God does not work that way, so I stole a bicycle and prayed for forgiveness
40. The world is a tragedy to those who feel and a comedy to those who think
41. Life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality rate
42. If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit
43. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
44. Imperfection is perfectly perfect
45. The longest time your shadow is your companion is for 6 months. Dont expect better of anyone
46. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me
47. Bruce Lee was a great man, but when his sister had a child, he became mamu-lee
48. I know know kung-fu, karate and 47 other dangerous words
49. Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
50. An electron is a smart girlfriend. When you look at her she is always there, but when you dont, she could be anywhere!
51. Lets put a shine on that semiconductor
52. Love involves 2 vowels, 2 consonants and 2 fools
53. I thought that the brain was the most wonderful organ in the body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
54. When you have to decide between things in life, toss a coin. While the coin is in the air, you'll realize what you truly want.
55. At any party there are 2 kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who dont. Problem is that they are usually married to each other.
56. To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
57. Of course I am in shape. Round is also a shape for God's sake.
58. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
59. Sometimes things go so horribly bad, that you cant help but smile
60. Wisdom hurts. At least the tooth certainly does.
And the last....
61. IIT-ans and rockets have one thing in common. Neither of them work until their asses are on fire.
PS: Sincere thanks to all those who put these up in their profiles. A word of advice:
"All the wonderful status messages are classic examples of misdirected creative instincts" :D :P