Friday, August 17, 2012

One Day in the Electronics Class

Something I wrote a long long time back.. in 2nd year .. :)

                           One Day in the Electronics Class

[A lecture hall… students are engaged in various activities… some are sleeping, some are chatting, some eating, etc…
A young, active-looking professor hurriedly walks in…]

Prof:    (Looks around and is disappointed by the general state of the students…. Starts                       pacing around the room….)
(One group of students are chatting…)
Prof:    YOU! Reduce your noise levels…
(One boy is sleeping….)
Prof:    YOU! Please wake him up….
(One boy is eating… seeing the prof coming, he quickly disposes his plate below the seat)
Prof:    What was that??? This is a class, not a semiconductor sample that you are adding       impurities!! Go outside and throw it in the Common Drain.
(Some people are copying assignments)
Prof:    YOU! Stop this communication system immediately. And one of you act as the                Common Collector and submit everybody’s assignment.
(Most fall silent… faint noise of 2 girls giggling)
Prof:    YOU! Bypass your small signals to AC ground… we have serious work to do…
(Prof goes to the dais and adjusts his microphone…)
Prof:    Students, today we shall….
(Common Collector submits the assignments… Prof takes a look)
Prof:    ALL the answers are wrong… Surprisingly everybody got the same wrong answer…          who is the Common Source??
(Students grumble at a particular guy… Prof notices)
Prof:    Stand up… you… yes YOU…
(Common Source stands up)
Prof:    So… you are a member of the Assignments and Tutorials Core Team??
CS:       (Puzzled and scared…) No, sir …. I mean…
Prof:    You have made the commonest mistake… and furthermore like an Ideal Current                        Mirror you have inducted the same mistake in everybody’s solution…
CS:       (Ashamed…) I am sorry Sir … could we try the problem once again…?
Prof:    It’s no good… instead study well the whole lot of you… otherwise your grades will        come in PDF format…
CS:       (Halufied…) Umm… our grades shall be mailed to us Sir?
Prof:    NO IDIOT, you will get P or D or F!! Sit down!!!
(Resumes Lecture)
Prof:    Today we shall be discussing the MOSFET circuit analysis. This is a very important        topic…
(2 students enter)
Prof:    Hey! You don’t ask for permission?
(Puzzled, students stop midway and look at the prof)
Prof:    What is the technical explanation for this delay?
Student 1:      Sir my cycle tyre punctured…
Student 2:      Sir I come by his cycle…
Prof:    SO… you 2 work in series, eh? If one component fails then your whole system                 crashes? Think fault-tolerant guys… (to Student 2) get a new cycle… go sit down.
            As I was saying, in these circuit analysis problems we shall assume all MOS’s to be    in saturation. Of course this must be verified at a later….
(One student is desperately trying to borrow a pen)
Prof:    YOU! What are you doing??
Student:         Sir I forgot to bring a pen…
Prof:    And where do you intend to write… I don’t see a notebook…
Student:         Sir I shall borrow a few pages…
Prof:    And have you submitted the assignment?
Student:         Sir I borrowed it from the Common Source (eyeing the guy)
Prof:    Brilliant! Now borrow yourself from your seat and without any intermediate                   collisions transport yourself out of the lecture hall… NOW! OUT!
Prof:    (calling after the guy) And on your way out close the Common Gate.
Prof:    Yes… amplify your attention please… as I was saying… the first step shall be a DC analysis of Q-pt values…
(One boy and one girl peep into the class)
-       “Sir may we come in?”
Prof:    New electron-hole pair!! You are too late… go back and recombine.
            Students, due to these stupid delay blocks riddled into our class, today I shall take a 2 hour lecture…
(Students grumble…)
Prof:    Why?
Student:         Will there be a break?
Prof:    No it is the prof who needs the break…
Students:       PLEASE SIR!!!!!!!
Prof:    Ok… but the mean free time shall be negligibly small… I intend to finish this chapter today…. And oh yes, you have a class test tomorrow…
Students:       OH NO!!!!!!
Prof:    Now what? Even this is exceeding your Upper Cut-off??
Students:       We need some time to study Sir…
Prof:    Electronic systems are supposed to give instantaneous output… I am sorry it can’t be   helped.
Now enough… fine tune your receivers… I shall radiate information and you better receive it fast…
(Students grumble and chatter… a general commotion settles in, when one of the staff comes in, paper in hand)
Prof:    SHUT UP! There is an important announcement… the HOD demands everybody               whose cycle has been left in the NO-PARKING zone to be subjected to Chain Therapy.
Students:       (Puzzled…) Chain Therapy???
Prof:    Yes… their cycles will be detained by department-sponsored chains and locks…
(Few students look around in dire urgency…)
Prof:    This had to happen…. Your disobedience has exceeded the HOD’s signal handling                   capacity… he has run into saturation trying to tell you… but you chose to remain in   cut-off mode… now with punishment, maybe you will re-stabilise your operating                       points. I am off to implement the strategy…
Students:       So the class is off?? YO!!!!
Prof:    There is nothing to celebrate… we shall have the class test today instead…
(Prof snaps his fingers… 2 TA’s walk in… hand out question papers…
Prof walks out …. Students collapse back with a big OH NO!!!!!!)

                                                                                                                        THE END