Saturday, March 27, 2010

Dreamz Unlimited




After the bout of seriousness on my last post, I decided to go easy this time round and take up something light-hearted. So here goes my tribute to the diadems of animation, Walt Disney animation studios, Disney Pixar and Dreamworks, and the wonderful dreams they have instilled in us to cherish for years.

Before I immerse myself into the dreamland, a recognition is due for the predecessors and contemporaries of Pixar, who have been no less instrumental in building our most cherished childhood memories. Hats off to Hanna-Barbara (Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer) for bringing the evergreen joy that is Tom and Jerry in our lives. Kudos to the "originals" of Disney, Mickey and Donald, who are household names in almost any family round the world. My respects go also to Warner Brothers for the inimitable wit of Bugs Bunny.







I enlist below some of the most notable films, short videos and concepts of Walt Disney Studios, Pixar and Dreamworks. A little reflection easily reveals that although the target audience has been children by and large, there are fundamental lessons to be learned for all the media and society in general

1. UP (Pixar):





There has been a good deal of contention among fans about which movie is closer to people's hearts - Wall-E or Up. I personally have felt that Up's storyline, though charming, falls slightly behind the appeal of Wall-E. But I enclose here a little video, which occurs in the beginning of the movie. These few minutes are, by far, the BEST I have ever seen in any animation, and really brings tears to my eyes every time I watch it.


Nobody has ever, in my knowledge, captured the little joys of married life more beautifully than this on screen. Its painful and endearing at the same time to see how a couple, on whom Provenance refused to bestow Her complete blessings, found an alternative way to be happy by chasing a simple dream... Pixar knows what is important in life, no doubts about that.


2. Wall-E (Pixar):




Very widely praised as one of the best Pixar films ever, although avid fans of Up would disagree. I personally liked this even more than Up, but that may be due to my technical predilections. But the magic that Pixar brought on screen is unquestionable. Pixar made it clear that you dont need to talk a lot to let someone know your feelings. A little puppy-face, a raised eyebrow, a hesitant twitching palm, and some awkward quirky actions. And its history. Wall-E speaks more than anyone else without uttering a clearly discernible sound throughout the film. Love has never been the same again after I watched Wall-E and truly, this coupled with Up defines in Pixar's own unique way how deep emotions can be without going into all the complications and ostentations that are considered concomitant to any relationship today. And on the backdrop, Pixar does not miss raising the concern for the ever-growing pollution in the world, our increasing dependency on machines and inherent laziness settling into our lives. I have enclosed here a couple of clips telling the wonderful love story of two robots :) and the most famous space dance scene:






3. Cars (Pixar):





As far as a movie goes, Cars is not a member of the top-notch. But there are a few moments that take your breath away. Among them undoubtedly is the song "Our Town" by James Taylor. This song got the Oscar for best original score. Kudos to Pixar again for blurring out the line between mainstream cinema and animation. Here is the video:


4. Finding Nemo (Pixar):





The relationship between a caring father and a rebellious but loving son has never been explored more beautifully. Add to that Pixar's legacy of creating unique and unforgettable characters, and we have Dory with short-term memory loss, Bruce the shark on a twelve-step no-fish diet and Crush, the tortoise who lived 200 years. But what comes through most strongly is the never-ending love and affection between father and son, for which they are ready to go any distance to find each other again. Karan Johar may have made K3G with the tag "its all about loving your parents", but he sure has a lot to learn from little colored fish. Honorable mention also goes to "Shark Tale" by Dreamworks.

5. Madagascar (Dreamworks):





Dreamworks has gifted us wonders like Antz and Shrek, but over and above these, I think Madagascar is closer to our hearts than any other. The main reason for that being the awesome variety of characters they had. It was not just the lead characters of the lion, zebra, giraffe and the female hippopotamus. Rather Madagascar will be remembered for the inventive genius, military discipline punched with juvenile idiosyncrasies of the unforgettable Penguins, the oh-so-cool-so-arrogant-so-irritating yet adorable King Julian (my favorite character by miles) and the terrifying Grandma who does everything most unfitting to her age. And every time I hear "I like to move it move it.." I just cant help but shake a leg along. Here are two clips for you: one testifying the genius of the penguins and the other - obvious - "... we like to - MOVE IT!!"



6. Ratatouille (Pixar):




Its a simple idea - "anybody can cook". And perhaps only Pixar could take this as far as a rat with unmatched culinary and gastronomic skills. Remy the mouse cooks, and cooks real good. Its unbelievable, but Pixar makes you believe that its possible. Add to that the charm of Paris and the budding romance of Linguini and Collette. Plus there's the ever skeptical Anton Ego to find faults and belittle chefs. There is a certain feel of culture about the movie, and Pixar has mixed it beautifully with all the weird characters :)

7. Ice Age (Blue Sky Studios):





Once again, not a very top-notch film, at least in terms of emotional content. The first one was definitely better, second one was good too, but the 3rd one was more of a wild adventure game. But the fossil who really made a permanent impact was the acorn-crazy Scrat. Scrat is probably a pre-historic squirrel who is crazy for acorns, and will go to any end to preserve and acquire them. Ok he did develop a soft spot for Scrattle, but then first love took over :) I put a little video, actually a short film, showing the tragedy of Scrat and what all misfortune makes him endure for his prized acorn:


8. Disney Princesses (Walt Disney Studios):

We have undertaken great movements to establish women's rights. India in particular has tried in various ways to convey the importance of the girl child. But Disney has done it in the most adorable style of all. "Within every girl there is a princess" - and Disney brings the charm of royalty true to the screen. Disney's princesses are not the quintessential snooty prim pulchritude. Rather, each girl is a lively embodiment of the desire for freedom of speech and action, artistic grace and cultural integrity occasionally interrupted by awkward emotions, childish laughter and the sweet craving to love and be loved, which brings them much closer to everyday girls than any royalty. Be it the royal Snow White or Aurora, the sweet Ariel, exotic Pochahontas or Mulan, the dashing Jasmine or the benign Cinderella, Disney has celebrated and cherished the girl child like no other.







9. Pixar Short films:

Many are unaware of this genre of films produced by Pixar, but these are some of the best short animations I have seen. In particular, I am enclosing here a short fim titled "Geri's game". Its a simple story about an old man who plays both sides of a chess game all by himself. His change of expression and emotions are amazing, but what is even more amazing is how Pixar has so sensitively and humorously brought out the shattering loneliness of old age:






There are several more amazing videos of this genre available online - be sure to check them out! Some of my favorites are:


Here's a little medley of short films:



Call them cartoons if you will, but animation movies have brought us the dreams and emotions which many mainstream films have failed to deliver. With the simplest of gestures conveying hearts out, animation remains an art beyond any parallelism, and will continue to engross us, make us laugh, cry, cheer and fantasize for years to come. :)
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Monday, February 1, 2010

Ijj aal well?

Close your eyes. Visualize your high school days. Remember the tutions, the homework and they late night studying. Now gently, whisper ... IIT

IIT. Dreams. Aspirations. Thrill. Enthusiasm. Thirst for knowledge, the strife for perfection and the leap of achievement.

And four years down the line, the adjectives change deceptively. Disillusionment. Dissatisfaction. Frustration. Aversion to books, antagonistic towards labs, antipathy to education and the anathema that is college life. What went wrong? What indeed went so wrong in so short a time?

Being on the student side of the stile of educational hierarchy, I have a tendency to speak for those among whom I stand. Granted, we are no less. IIT'ians and rockets are known to work only when their a**es are on fire. We don't study, we plagiarize projects, bunk classes even at high noon and sleep through labs. Surely there could not have been a more unruly and indisciplined lot than us. We are the paragon of bohemianism, irreverence personified and the epitomes of inconsistency.

But did they expect anything else? When they hand-picked 5000 of India's 5-lakh strong high-school population, did they expect us to be "normal"? Would an 18 year old boy prefer to go to a class or to the nearest fast food joint? Would a 19 year old girl prefer to measure titre values or watch the sunset hand-in-hand with her boyfriend? Would a young innovator rather slog over bookish formulae after a tiresome night of trying to perfect his automated door-lock than sleep?
Why were we expected to be so conventional after the selection procedure so meticulously filtered out only the mavericks?

Well, we were ready to go through that too. If I remember correctly, not a SINGLE student had bunked any class on the first day he came to IIT. Nobody had failed to try his/her level best to blaze through the first mid-semester examination at IIT. Nobody had manipulated lab results the first day they tried their hands at something in the lab. We were ready. Ready to give our best shot. Our most sincere hard work.

But they destroyed that too. They were so bad at what they were supposed to do, that within a matter of a couple of weeks they convinced people it was not worthwhile going to classes. They lost the most dedicated and sincere audience they could ever have by their extravagantly limpid demonstration of the fact that they themselves did NOT LOVE what they were doing, and that they were MISERABLE with their own lives. They made it clear that the objective of engineering was to write and solve equations, often without bothering about what they really meant or how they could be put to some practical use. They impressed upon us that lab experiments HAD TO give the same results that they expected, because they were not smart enough to explain what went wrong. Your answers had to be what "pleased" their aesthetic sense, else it was wrong. And when little boys and girls wept behind closed doors in their rooms after the mid-semester massacre, nobody came to tell them that there was always a second time. Or a third or fourth. The judgement had been taken. In a matter of 2 months, you went from being an IITian to a nobody. And the tag stuck on. It just went on, education for the sake of filling your notebooks.

The poison thus insinuated spread like wild conflagration. The smartest minds of the nation broke down under the curse of neglect, misjudgment and plebeian channelization. Friends rifted into "nerds" and "dudes" (which was primarily anchored around your CPI). The hurt sentiments of snuffed out hope resorted to extra academics, more often to feel the recognition, sense of achievement and success which they had been deprived of, than for the true love of it. But being exceptionally brilliant, they excelled at that too. They became extraordinary sportsmen, singers, artists and dramatists, or revived the talents admonished at home and long forgotten under the onerous piles of notes that symbolizes education today. They organized the best known fests in Asia and made the whole continent shake up and take notice of IIT for reasons people really had not expected in the first place.

Surprisingly, they did not like it. They never joined in the merriment, although they were certainly not THAT old. When boys and girls shook their legs on the dance floor, they arched their eyebrows and questioned their moral standards. When youngsters ran away from mess food they barricaded the gates to tie them in. When boys turned in late for class after having spent hours trying to organize the same events for which they boasted to their peers elsewhere, they rudely turned them out for indiscipline. When students enthusiastically displayed working models, they asked for theory, and when students worked out new principles, they asked for application. The amusement went a step further when the same people who quarreled with their families every evening at home attempted to counsel those whose minds had not been clouded by age. And all their noble motives suddenly vaporized into thin air when a student died from lack of timely medical attention.

And at the end of it all, when the thoroughly demotivated and frustrated population took up jobs in finance, went to management schools and to foreign universities hoping for a more intellectually stimulating environment, they put up another laughable show of ironic chicanery. To the new entrants, they showed placement statistics - they are lucrative figures anyway. To the government and newspapers, they fretted about the lack of technical bent in the minds of the youth and the brazen craze for wealth. And to the parents, they wondered why people are in such a hurry to leave the country for good. Only deep within they knew that there was only one answer to it all, a finger pointing back at themselves.

Why was this done to us? We had come here, honestly, to learn, and to make India proud. We were methodically subdued and demoralized and discouraged in every way possible. Why were we cheated and deprived? Why was our creativity nipped in the bud? Why were the erudite forced to reduce themselves to the pedestrian?

And when next time I hear a grandiloquent speech describing how we are wasting our parent's and the taxpayer's money, how ignorant we are and how hopelessly inadequate our knowledge is compared to those who strive to maintain the "sanctity of IIT", I wish to stand up and say "You may be a great man, and I may know nothing. But I have a right to live and be happy. You have already robbed me of too much, don't you dare take this away from me too."
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Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Days of College

As our stint at IIT nears its final hours, lets spend a little time recollecting all the wisdom this great institution has infused into us over the brief period for which we were available to her as guinea pigs (pun fully intended). The following is a brief summary of what all we went through in the various courses. I am sure many will find comfort, and the less fortunate in terms of JEE selection might feel less deprived, while their parents might wonder what good the people's taxes did for the training of the "creme de la creme" of the Indian intelligentsia.

CHEMISTRY: (the subject where GAY Lussac made some name for himself)

1. Student: Sir I cant see what you are writing on the board
[Prof walks up to his place, and takes his prespective..]
Prof: Oh no no, it eej all right.. there must be something wrong with your ass (thats how some people say eyes)
Backdrop: How did you know?

2. Prof towards sleeping student: Eh you!! Yees yees you!! ...
[Student does not wake up despite prof's calling, clapping and banging of desks. Prof goes up and shakes him awake]
Student: Gaa??? Umm.. err... hhhh...
Prof: Eh whatte?? I am doing thisa thisa (clapping replay) then doing thisa thisa (banging replay) and you stilla sleepinga??

Epilogue: Is it surprising that nobody gets Ex in Chemistry?

PHYSICS: (I should mention here, despite idiosyncrasies, this was one of the best profs we had)

1. Prof: So you see, this is this and that is that and that is this and this is that... clear??

2. [Lab viva]
Prof: Define "diffraction"
Student: Light comes into a hole, and then (spreading out the fingers of his palm) whoooooosh!!

Epilogue: Never mind, even Feynman did not understand Quantum Mechanics

MATHS: (Oh the horror)

1. [ Prof draws a bunch of arrows on the board, then encloses it within a membrane.. and proud announcement...]
Prof: This is a vector space...

2. Prof: It is very sad that you people cannot do a line integration properly. You only have to parametrize the function along the curve and then....
Student: Sir actually each time we hear "curve" we tend to get distracted. Please don't use such tantalizing language in the papers...

Epilogue: And you thought engineers were good at math?

MECHANICS: ("joint" entrance examination, literally)

1. Prof: Did you see the cricket match yesterday? They did not use the correct batting order.. that guy should have come first, he can deliver greater impulse on the ball, and his angles are also good...

Epilogue: Practical applications are welcome. But overdoses might boomerang.

ELECTRICAL LAB: (the land of the flying lab reports)

[Student hands lab report to prof. Whooosh!!! It whizzes past his left ear. Student hands today's circuit diagram. Whooosh again!!! It flies past his right..]
Student (terrified): Is everything wrong sir?
Prof: Oh no no, they are correct. But you are not wearing your shoes.

Epilogue: The lab should bear a placard saying "Catch Practice in Progress" while in session

MANPRO: (English, re-defined)

1. [Test in progress. A beautiful girl (rare, I know) is writing her answers. A prof creeps up to her ear, and seems to be about to whisper, when he suddenly blares out..]
Prof: WRITE YOUR NAME ON THE TOP OF THE ANSWER SHEET
(Reflection - there are better ways of getting to know a girl's name)

2. [The GOD of Manpro lab explaining fitting..]
Prof: Theech eeej a cheeejelll.... now whai uze theech cheejelll and not thaaaaaat cheejelll????
Students: What the hell did he say?

3. [Viva in progress]
Prof: What is the name given to the extra space that is left in a mould to allow it to be knocked out of the cast?
Student (excited): Sir sir, raping allowance!!!
Prof: Correct...
(Reflection - Indian Laws are unusally harsh on such intellectually enlightening activities)

4. [Student reflects on his welding work]
Student: Yaar, lagta hai koi thuuk diya hai plate pe...

Epilogue: Its no wonder why mechanical engineers make the best investment bankers. Kudos to Chetan Bhagat for having shown the path to salvation.

PROGRAMMING: (the HEAP of confusion)

Prof: Yes that doubt..... you asked... you see when you write programs...... big programs..... or small programs....... in C.... or some other language...... then........ you see........ ok I'll come to that later
[Students start clapping. Prof joins in. The zip of his trousers is treacherously positioned]

Epilogue: Despite all this, placement stats indicate that IIT should be renamed "Indian Institute of Coding and some other hopeless practices"

ENGLISH: (why??? just why????)

Prof: I know many students consider me to be permanently pregnant, but you need not have mentioned that in the feedback sheets...

Epilogue: Going by a survey on lab grading styles, people should probably be taught Bengali at IIT Kharagpur instead of English

FINANCE: (there are some things that money cant buy. this experience testifies it)

1. Prof: There are two sides to Finance - the left side and the right side.

2. Prof: M-A-N-G-O. How many WORDS? 5!!!!!!

3. Student1: Why is there a "Dic" drawn on the board?
Student2: Look it points towards investment
Student3: And cash inflow
Student1: I did not register for adult education... this ERP server is doing something wrong...

4. Prof: So vaat is Global Financial Crisis in your opinion?
Student: There are people who are rich and people who are poor. The rich one day decided to get richer quickly. They ended up joining the poor.
Student: Correct. Jost loik that mubhee, "Judai".. have you seen? It has good FONDA...

5. Prof: Finance deals with MORKETS... there is some JORGON you should remember... and if you have excess money, put it in a BONK...

6. Prof: It eej aal about taking rishk. No GOATS, no GLORY. Chhimpal.
(Reflection - A united, standing "Baaa" for this Golden truth)

Epilogue: Very soon, I'll forget how to manage my pocket money.

{Henceforth stories concentrate on the ordeal faced at Electronics Department. The partiality may be kindly forgiven}

NETWORKS: (rediscovering mathematics)

1. Prof: Of course!!! Product of two matrices is a real number!!! Did you not know?
[2 sleeping students wake up, and shake themselves at this unexpected enlightenment. In the meantime Prof discreetly works out a little example in one corner of the board]
Prof: Oh.... it looks something like a matrix.... we had better put a determinant sign (that way what I said remains true)

2. Prof: You!!! What-what-what-what-whaaaaaaat?????? Talking in class!!!!! You PLEASE get out!!!! No no you PLEAAAAAASEEEEE get out!!!!

Epilogue: I still fail to surmise why this course was necessary

SEMICONDUCTORS: (the pinnacle of comedy)

1. Prof: If you make a FET, all I shall do is shine some light on it.... then I shall say its a crappy FET... you poor soul

2. Prof: Oh dont sleep.... we are all trying.. (what? not to fall asleep?)

3. Prof: One day, many years ago, a student fell off the tower during ragging and died. Thats why you should normalize your eigenvectors.
(Refection - If anybody knows what this crypt meant, please mail me)

4. Prof: [pointing at the band diagram of a MOSFET] - of course this is a diode!!!

5. Prof: You cannot translate "daridra narayan seva" to English, and you are telling me you cannot understand bipolar transistors?
Student: Poor Vishnu Service. Now for my answer...

6. Prof: Where is your khaata?????
Gujju: At State Bank of India sir..

Epilogue: Applications are open for someone... anyone.. who can teach us a LITTLE bit about devices.

COMMUNICATIONS: (guilt and confusion - the deadly duo)

1. Prof: You yignorant yellows.. i mean fellows... wasting your parents money and the sanctity of the IIT degree
(Reflection - the noble thoughts were brought to us by the time we were past redemption)

2. Prof: [Solves some equation, and comes up with an equation which solves out to give resistance on one side and voltage on the other]
Ohh.. I must have made a mistake somewhere
Student: Kaunsi nayee baat hai...

3. [Lab... test in progress.. student connects the circuit and hooks up the oscilloscope. A total dust storm emerges on the scope]
Prof: Aaaahhhh!! It ij coming!!!
Student: Whaa???... Oh well... sure...

Epilogue: One more career option down. And I have forgotten coding. Allah utha le!!!

SIGNALS: (wireless philanthropy, delivered)

1. Student: Why did we get such poor marks Sir?
Prof [assumes a sagely appearance]: You see it is a fact of life, some people do well and some dont. In your case it a bit skewed, but that is part of life as well...

2. Student: What is the reason behind that assumption?
Prof: In many cases we do things just to make life simple...

3. [Lab viva]
Prof: Why is there a bandage on your hand?
Hitman: I was angry. I punched an iron railing.
Prof: Gaaa???? Please dont do anything like that during the viva, I'll ask easy questions

Epilogue: LG. Life is good. Too good to be true.

ANALOG CIRCUITS: (the sonorous prof syndrome)

1. Prof: We are organizing a cricket match. The teams will be named NMOS and PMOS
(Reflection - PMOS might lose due to lesser mobility)

2. Prof: It is amazing. Some students have confused between the Gate and the Drain of a transistor.

3. Prof: You are like a noije in the class... can you please get out? See either you leave or I leave...

4. Prof: Yesh, but what about the sheegnal shweeng??

Epilogue: Prof was good, provided you sit within hearing range. Which is not much.

DIGITAL CIRCUITS: (fear unlimited)

1. Student: Sir should we mention the exact specifications for this circuit?
Prof: Ore baba... no no, just write a little, I'll give you marks


(To be continued)
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